In this article, you’ll learn:
- The unique challenges and opportunities that come with the empty nest phase for married couples.
- Proven strategies for reconnecting and strengthening your relationship after the kids leave home.
- Practical tips for keeping romance alive and fostering open communication.
- How to manage finances and plan for the future as empty nesters.
- Real-life examples of couples who successfully navigated this new phase of life together.
By the end of this guide, you’ll have actionable insights to help you build a more fulfilling marriage in the empty nest phase—one that’s full of connection, adventure, and shared goals.
Marriage Tips for Empty Nesters
Becoming empty nesters can feel like an adventure that no one prepared you for. Suddenly, the kids are out of the house, and you’re left with a quieter home, extra time, and maybe even a bit of uncertainty about what’s next. As a couple, you’re in a unique phase where, after years of focusing on family, it’s just the two of you again. This is an ideal time to reconnect, rekindle romance, and rediscover what brought you together in the first place.
In this guide, we’ll explore practical tips for making the most of your marriage as empty nesters. Whether it’s learning new hobbies together, creating fresh routines, or setting goals for this next chapter, we’ve got ideas to help you and your spouse grow closer and enjoy this exciting phase.
I. Why the Empty Nest Phase is a New Opportunity for Marriage
When the kids move out, many couples find they have more time, but aren’t sure what to do with it. This phase is a chance to shift the focus from parenting back to your partnership. It’s like pressing a reset button on your marriage. Instead of being a loss, think of this as a new opportunity to connect, explore, and enjoy each other’s company in ways that might have been hard with a busy household.
Rediscovering Each Other
After years of running through routines focused on the kids, you may notice that you and your spouse have changed over time. Now is the perfect time to get to know each other all over again. Imagine you’re dating, but with years of shared history to keep things fun. Simple things like talking about dreams and goals can bring you closer, and you might be surprised by what you learn.
Time for Shared Hobbies and Adventures
With more free time, there’s room to explore hobbies or interests you might have put on the back burner. Whether it’s traveling, taking up cooking together, or even learning a new language, trying something fresh as a team can add excitement. Studies show that couples who engage in new experiences together feel closer because they’re creating new memories (and sometimes even a little adventure) along the way.
Example: Finding Joy in the Empty Nest Phase
Take, for example, a couple I know who found new energy in their marriage once the kids left. They’d always wanted to try hiking but never found the time. Now, they plan weekend hikes to different trails in their area. They laugh about getting lost, enjoy the beautiful scenery, and say these hikes have become a time to connect and enjoy each other’s company without any interruptions.
II. Reconnecting with Your Spouse After the Kids Move Out
Reconnecting doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about finding ways to spend quality time together and creating a shared vision for your relationship. Here are some ideas for rekindling that connection.
Creating New Routines Together
One simple yet effective way to reconnect is by building new routines that bring you closer. Maybe it’s starting the day with coffee together or winding down with a walk in the evening. Even small routines can make a big difference because they create moments for bonding and consistency.
Try adding a weekly “date night” where you both pick an activity, like watching a movie at home, trying a new restaurant, or going for a drive. If you’re consistent, these routines start to feel special and give you something to look forward to every week.
Setting Goals for Your Relationship
Another helpful idea is to set goals for this new chapter. Ask yourselves, “What do we want our life together to look like now?” Maybe it’s about traveling more, or perhaps you both want to spend more time volunteering. Setting goals together builds a sense of teamwork, and it can be fun to track your progress.
Consider making a “bucket list” of things you’d both love to do over the next few years. This could be as simple as seeing more live music or as ambitious as planning an overseas trip.
Example: The Power of Shared Goals
I know a couple who made it their goal to learn a new recipe every month. It was something simple, but they both love food, and cooking together became a fun way to bond. Now, they look back on their empty nest days as a time of creativity and joy that brought them closer.
III. How to Find and Enjoy New Hobbies as a Couple
Now that you have more free time, why not explore new hobbies together? Hobbies are a great way to keep things exciting and create fresh memories, and they don’t have to be expensive or difficult to start.
Exploring Shared Interests
Think about hobbies you both might enjoy. Cooking, gardening, dancing, or even volunteering could be fun ways to bond. Many couples find that trying a hobby they’re both new to helps them feel more connected because they’re both learning together.
If you’re unsure where to start, think about what you’ve enjoyed in the past. Love traveling? Try weekend road trips. Enjoy cooking? Maybe a new recipe each week is a good start.
Making Time for Individual Hobbies Too
Just as shared hobbies can bring you closer, having your own personal interests can be just as healthy. Having something you enjoy separately can make you happier overall, and it gives you new things to talk about.
One couple I know loves this balance. He enjoys his woodworking while she loves painting. They each have their own space to do their hobbies, and they enjoy showing each other their creations. It keeps things interesting and gives them both a sense of independence within the relationship.
IV. Enhancing Communication as Empty Nesters
Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more important during times of change. Empty nesters have a chance to redefine their marriage, and clear, open communication can make that process a lot easier.
Practicing Active Listening
Active listening means truly focusing on what your partner is saying instead of thinking about your response. It can be as simple as putting your phone down and giving your spouse your full attention. It’s amazing how a little attention can make conversations feel deeper and more meaningful.
Using ‘I’ Statements to Express Needs
Using “I” statements can help avoid misunderstandings. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try “I feel unheard when we talk.” This simple shift can make a big difference because it focuses on how you feel rather than blaming your partner.
Example: Communication Shifts for the Better
I once met a couple who struggled with communication after their kids moved out. They decided to have weekly check-ins where they could talk about anything on their minds. These sessions became a safe space for both of them, and they found that being intentional about listening and expressing their feelings brought them closer than ever.
V. Common Challenges Empty Nesters Face—and How to Overcome Them
The empty nest phase isn’t always smooth sailing. After years of raising children, couples may face some unexpected challenges as they adjust to this new phase of life. Let’s take a look at some common struggles and how to overcome them together.
Dealing with Loneliness and Adjusting to Change
One of the biggest hurdles empty nesters face is the feeling of loneliness. The house feels quieter, and it can seem like there’s less to do. For some couples, this change leads to uncertainty about their relationship. After years of being busy with kids, there might be a sense of “who are we now?”
The key is to view this as an opportunity to focus more on each other. Instead of mourning the empty nest, try seeing it as a chance to reconnect. I’ve seen couples who’ve spent years raising children suddenly realize they never really spent quality time alone. It’s a chance to take things slow, learn more about each other’s interests, and reignite the spark.
Managing Financial Differences
Another challenge that comes with the empty nest phase is managing finances. You might have different expectations or priorities when it comes to how to spend or save money. Maybe one partner is thinking about retirement while the other is looking forward to travel or new hobbies. These differences can cause stress, but they don’t have to.
The solution is open communication and compromise. I recommend sitting down together to discuss your financial goals and make sure you’re both on the same page. Setting mutual goals for the next few years can help you avoid any surprises and create a plan that works for both of you.
Addressing Differing Life Paces
Lastly, empty nesters often deal with a shift in how quickly each partner is adjusting to this new phase. One person may embrace the changes and want to start planning new adventures, while the other may take more time to adjust. This difference in pace can create tension.
The best way to handle this is through patience and understanding. It’s important to communicate openly about where you are emotionally and what you both need. It might help to give each other space to process the change at your own pace, while still making time for shared activities.
VI. Tips for Rekindling Romance
Just because the kids are gone doesn’t mean the romance should fade. In fact, the empty nest phase can be an ideal time to reignite the passion and connection that may have taken a backseat during the busy parenting years.
Planning Regular Date Nights
Date nights don’t have to stop just because you’re married. I’ve heard couples say that date nights were the first thing to go once the kids came along. Well, now that you have the time, it’s the perfect opportunity to bring them back.
Date night doesn’t always mean going out to an expensive restaurant (although that can be fun too!). It could be something simple like cooking dinner together, watching a movie, or going for a walk. The goal is to spend quality time together—no kids, no distractions.
Creating Moments of Affection and Appreciation
Sometimes, it’s the little things that keep the romance alive. I once heard a couple talk about how they still leave sweet notes for each other every morning. Simple gestures like a hug, a compliment, or even sharing a cup of coffee together can make a big difference.
Don’t forget to show appreciation for your partner too. A small “thank you” for helping with something or simply telling them you love them can go a long way in strengthening the bond between you.
VII. Practical Financial Planning for Empty Nesters
Now that your kids are grown, it’s time to look ahead to the future, and that includes your financial plans. Financial harmony is key to maintaining peace in any relationship, and for empty nesters, it’s especially important to get aligned on goals.
Discussing Retirement Goals Together
This is the stage where many couples start seriously thinking about retirement. I’ve seen couples who didn’t have a clear plan for this phase, and it caused unnecessary stress. Take the time to discuss what your retirement dreams look like. Do you want to travel? Move to a new city? Or maybe you both want to focus on hobbies or community service. Whatever it is, make sure you’re on the same page.
Creating a Joint Budget for This New Phase
With the kids out of the house, your financial situation may change. There might be extra room in the budget, or maybe you’re adjusting for future expenses. Now’s the time to set a new budget that reflects your goals and lifestyle.
A good idea is to create a joint budget where both partners are involved in the process. This can help prevent any misunderstandings and make sure you’re both comfortable with how money is spent.
VIII. Building a Shared Vision for the Future
With your kids out of the house, this is the perfect time to focus on your future as a couple. Whether it’s planning for travel, starting a new project, or simply dreaming about what’s next, it’s important to have a shared vision.
Setting Long-Term Goals as a Couple
Start by setting long-term goals. These could be financial goals, personal goals, or shared goals that focus on what you want to experience together. Do you want to travel the world? Start a business together? The possibilities are endless.
Balancing Flexibility and Structure
While it’s important to have a plan, it’s also important to remain flexible. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and sometimes the best moments come from unexpected opportunities. Be open to adjusting your plans as you go.
IX. Tips for Keeping the Conversation Ongoing
Communication doesn’t stop once you’ve sorted out your finances or your date nights. To keep your relationship strong, it’s important to have regular conversations about your feelings, your future, and what’s important to both of you.
Scheduling Regular Check-Ins
I recommend scheduling check-ins—whether it’s monthly or quarterly. These don’t have to be big, formal meetings, but they’re an opportunity to discuss any changes or challenges you might be facing. Think of them as mini relationship “tune-ups” to ensure you’re both on the same page.
Keeping Goals and Hopes in View
Remember to keep your goals and hopes in view. Talk about your dreams and revisit your shared goals regularly. This keeps both of you feeling connected and aligned on what’s important in your marriage.
X. Conclusion: Embracing the Empty Nest Phase Together
The empty nest phase doesn’t have to be a time of loneliness or loss. It’s an exciting opportunity to rediscover each other, grow together, and plan for the future. By focusing on communication, building shared goals, and keeping the romance alive, you can build a stronger and more fulfilling marriage in this new phase of life.
Remember, the empty nest is not an end—it’s a fresh start. So, take advantage of this time to reconnect with your spouse, try new things, and enjoy this next chapter to the fullest.
