In this article, you’ll discover:
- Why physical intimacy is essential for a strong, happy marriage and the emotional and psychological benefits it brings.
- Practical strategies for increasing intimacy, from simple daily practices to fun, creative activities.
- The common barriers to physical intimacy, like busy schedules and stress, and how to overcome them.
- Proven tips to improve communication about intimacy and rebuild trust, whether through couples therapy or personal effort.
- Real-life examples of couples who have successfully deepened their emotional and physical connection.
Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy in Marriage
Physical intimacy plays a vital role in marriage, often acting as the glue that keeps a relationship strong. But let’s be honest—life can sometimes get in the way. Work, kids, and other daily pressures can cause physical closeness to take a backseat. The good news is that if you feel like the spark in your marriage is fading, there are plenty of ways to rekindle the fire.
In this article, I’ll explore practical strategies that can help you increase physical intimacy in your marriage. These aren’t just quick fixes—they’re long-term practices that, if followed, can transform how you connect with your spouse on a deeper level. Whether it’s through communication, spending more quality time together, or simply making room for affection, I’ll cover it all. By the end of this guide, you’ll have the tools to strengthen your bond and enjoy a more fulfilling, intimate relationship.
Why Physical Intimacy is Crucial in Marriage
Physical intimacy is more than just sex. It’s about the ways we connect, touch, and share affection in our relationships. It builds trust, emotional closeness, and a sense of security. Here’s why physical intimacy is so important for a healthy marriage.
The Emotional and Psychological Benefits of Physical Intimacy
Physical touch can do wonders for our emotional health. It releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which fosters feelings of happiness and connection. In fact, studies have shown that couples who engage in regular physical touch—whether it’s holding hands or cuddling—report higher levels of relationship satisfaction and overall well-being (Hertenstein et al., 2009).
When you hug or kiss your spouse, it’s not just a nice gesture; it’s a signal that you’re connected. Over time, physical affection strengthens your bond and creates a sense of trust and comfort.
Physical Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction
Here’s a fun fact: physical affection is a significant predictor of marital happiness. Research suggests that couples who prioritize physical intimacy report higher levels of satisfaction with their marriages. It’s not just about sex—it’s about maintaining a consistent, physical connection that fosters emotional intimacy. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who engage in frequent physical affection—like kissing, hugging, and holding hands—tend to have happier and more stable marriages (Timmerman, 2016).
How Physical Intimacy Improves Communication
Did you know that physical touch can actually improve how you communicate with your spouse? It’s true! When we touch someone, we’re often saying more than words ever could. Non-verbal communication through hugs, touches, or even a simple hand-hold can convey comfort, reassurance, and understanding. According to research, physical touch can help reduce misunderstandings and increase emotional clarity between partners (Siedlecki, 2014). This simple act of physical intimacy builds a deeper emotional connection that words can’t always achieve.
Top Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy in Marriage
Now that we’ve covered why physical intimacy is important, let’s dive into practical ways to increase it in your relationship. These are easy-to-implement tips that can help bring you and your partner closer—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Prioritize Time Together and Create Rituals
Life gets busy, right? Between work, kids, and everything in between, finding time for your spouse can feel like a challenge. But the key to increasing physical intimacy in marriage is making time for each other. Setting aside regular “us” time—whether it’s weekly date nights, a quick hug in the morning, or an evening walk—can do wonders for reconnecting.
One of the best ways to foster intimacy is by creating small rituals. For example, try greeting each other with a kiss every morning or holding hands during dinner. These small acts of affection can gradually strengthen your bond and make physical intimacy feel more natural.
Improve Communication About Physical Needs
This one is important. Sometimes, we assume our partner knows what we need without saying a word. But the truth is, it’s much better to be open and direct. Talking about physical intimacy isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for improving the connection. I’ve found that couples who openly communicate about their needs—without blame or judgment—are more likely to build intimacy.
Use “I feel” statements when discussing intimacy. For instance, instead of saying, “You never touch me,” try “I feel disconnected when we don’t have time for physical affection.” This opens the door for a productive, loving conversation. Plus, it lets your partner know what you’re feeling without making them feel attacked.
Experiment with New Activities and Shared Interests
When was the last time you tried something new together? Whether it’s taking a dance class, traveling to a new place, or trying out a hobby, shared experiences are great for building intimacy. Research shows that couples who do new things together strengthen their emotional and physical connection. So, if you’re feeling a little stuck, why not spice things up by doing something outside your usual routine?
Imagine the excitement of learning something new with your spouse. It’s a great way to bond and create fun memories that will bring you closer physically and emotionally.
Build Emotional Intimacy to Strengthen Physical Intimacy
The foundation of physical intimacy is emotional intimacy. It’s hard to feel physically close to someone you don’t trust or feel emotionally safe with. That’s why it’s so important to nurture emotional intimacy first. Share your feelings, be vulnerable, and make an effort to really understand each other. When you’re emotionally connected, physical intimacy flows more naturally.
A study from the University of Texas found that couples who are emotionally open and vulnerable with each other are more likely to have satisfying and fulfilling physical relationships (McLaren et al., 2019). So, talk about your day, your hopes, and even your fears. It’ll make your physical connection that much stronger.
Practice Regular Physical Affection (Non-Sexual Touch)
Sometimes, physical intimacy doesn’t have to involve sex. Simple, non-sexual physical touch—like holding hands, cuddling, or a spontaneous kiss—can make a world of difference. I’ve personally found that a simple hug or kiss before heading off to work makes me feel connected and loved. And studies show that couples who regularly engage in non-sexual touch report greater relationship satisfaction. It’s all about showing affection in small, everyday ways.
When to Seek Professional Help for Intimacy Issues
If you’ve tried everything and still feel like physical intimacy is lacking, it might be time to seek professional help. Therapy can help address deeper issues that might be affecting your relationship, like stress, past trauma, or unresolved emotional baggage.
Signs that you may need help include feeling disconnected for long periods of time, not enjoying physical closeness, or avoiding intimacy altogether. A trained therapist can guide you both through these challenges and help you rebuild your connection.
Overcoming Common Barriers to Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy plays an essential role in maintaining a healthy, fulfilling marriage, but it doesn’t always come easily. Life has a funny way of getting in the way—between work, kids, and general responsibilities, it’s easy for physical connection to take a backseat. But don’t worry—if you’re feeling disconnected, you’re not alone, and there are plenty of ways to get back on track. Here are some common barriers couples face and how to overcome them.
Busy Schedules and Lack of Time
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy for time with your spouse to slip through the cracks. Between work, kids, and all the daily demands, there’s often little time left to connect physically. I know a couple who used to feel the same way—they would go weeks without having any real “couple” time. They finally decided to prioritize intimacy by scheduling “intimacy dates.” These dates weren’t always about sex—they could be as simple as a quiet dinner together or a movie at home with no distractions. It worked because they intentionally carved out time just for each other.
The key here is to set boundaries. Create a space in your schedule for physical connection—whether it’s a hug in the morning, a kiss goodbye, or a full-on date night. And remember, it doesn’t always have to be fancy or planned out. It’s about showing up for each other, even in small ways.
Stress and External Pressures
Stress is an intimacy killer. When work or life is overwhelming, physical connection often falls to the bottom of the priority list. But stress doesn’t have to destroy your relationship. I’ve found that when my partner and I take time to de-stress together—whether it’s through yoga, taking a walk, or getting a couples’ massage—it brings us closer. Relaxation practices don’t only help reduce stress, but they also improve physical intimacy by creating a calm, nurturing environment for connection.
In fact, research shows that managing stress together can increase relationship satisfaction. According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, couples who engage in shared stress-reduction activities report stronger emotional and physical bonds (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2005). So, consider adding stress-reduction techniques to your routine.
Overcoming Past Trauma or Emotional Baggage
Emotional baggage can be a huge barrier to physical intimacy. Unresolved past trauma or old wounds can make it difficult for one or both partners to feel safe or connected. It’s tough, but the first step is acknowledging that past experiences might be impacting your present intimacy. Therapy can be a powerful tool for couples dealing with these challenges. It provides a safe space to open up and work through emotional issues together.
I once heard from a couple who had struggled with intimacy after a betrayal in their marriage. They worked with a therapist, focusing on rebuilding trust and emotional security, and over time, their physical intimacy grew stronger. It wasn’t easy, but they were patient with each other—and with themselves—and that made all the difference.
Intimacy Exercises and Tips for Married Couples
Now that we’ve covered the obstacles to intimacy, let’s explore some simple, actionable steps to increase physical closeness in your marriage. These exercises don’t require a lot of time or special skills—they’re just about building connection, one step at a time.
Daily Practices to Keep Intimacy Alive
Sometimes, keeping intimacy alive is about the little things you do each day. A simple kiss goodbye in the morning, a hug when you get home, or even holding hands while watching TV can make a world of difference. One of the easiest things you can do is to create a “gratitude journal” together. Write down one thing you appreciate about your partner every day, and share it with each other. This practice helps foster emotional intimacy, which strengthens physical closeness.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Even a short walk around the block together, just the two of you, can help maintain that connection. And these small moments build up to a much stronger bond over time.
Fun and Creative Ways to Connect Physically
Want to try something different? How about couples’ yoga, dancing, or even giving each other a massage? These activities not only create physical touch, but they also foster trust and vulnerability. I’ve seen couples who take dance classes together not only improve their physical intimacy but also their emotional connection. The shared experience of learning something new can create a sense of togetherness that goes beyond just the physical touch.
Take a couples’ yoga class, or try some basic stretches together at home. Even a simple massage can break down physical barriers and help you both relax into each other’s presence. Physical connection isn’t just about passion—it’s also about comfort and nurturing.
The Power of Spontaneous Acts of Affection
Sometimes, the best way to show affection is spontaneously. I remember surprising my partner with a quick kiss while he was reading a book, just because. It wasn’t planned—it was spontaneous and playful, and that’s what made it special. Little moments like that can strengthen intimacy far more than we give them credit for.
Studies show that couples who regularly practice small acts of affection—like hugs, kisses, and spontaneous compliments—report higher levels of relationship satisfaction (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2014). So, next time you’re passing by your spouse, give them a kiss or a hug. It might seem small, but those moments add up to big things over time.
When to Seek Professional Help for Intimacy Issues
Physical intimacy is important, but sometimes it’s not enough to just try harder. There are times when professional support is necessary to restore connection in a marriage. Here are a few signs that it might be time to seek help.
Signs That Physical Intimacy is Lacking
It’s normal for physical intimacy to fluctuate over time, but if you’ve noticed a long-term decline in affection or sexual connection, it could indicate a deeper issue. Increased emotional distance, lack of physical affection, or communication breakdowns can all be signs that intimacy is suffering. If these patterns persist, it’s time to take action.
For example, a couple I know realized they weren’t having regular physical contact anymore. They weren’t fighting—they were just drifting apart. They knew they had to act, and therapy was the first step toward reconnecting.
How Therapy Can Help Rebuild Physical Intimacy
Therapy, whether it’s couples counseling or sex therapy, can help uncover the underlying issues affecting intimacy. A trained therapist can guide you both through difficult conversations, help you address emotional or psychological barriers, and create a plan to reconnect physically. Many couples who work with a professional report feeling closer and more connected afterward.
A study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy showed that couples who attended therapy were more likely to report improvements in both emotional and physical intimacy (McNulty & Karney, 2004).
Relationship Retreats and Workshops
For couples looking for more intensive help, relationship retreats or workshops can offer an opportunity to focus on rebuilding intimacy. These retreats are often structured programs that combine counseling, workshops, and shared experiences designed to strengthen relationships. One popular option is the Hoffman Process, a week-long retreat that focuses on personal growth and intimacy. These intensive programs can be life-changing for couples ready to put in the work.
Conclusion
Physical intimacy is key to a happy and fulfilling marriage, but it’s not always easy to maintain. By overcoming barriers like busy schedules, stress, and emotional baggage, and committing to small, daily practices, you can reignite that connection. Whether through fun activities, daily affection, or seeking professional help, there are many ways to strengthen your bond. The most important thing is to keep working at it—because a little effort can go a long way in building a deeply satisfying and intimate relationship.
